Generally speaking, an effective coach develops an acute understanding of human nature and psychology. Typically, this understanding allows a coach to be empathetic without being sympathetic. Coaches are constantly trying to understand themselves, in order to help clients gain new perspectives. In addition to being students of human nature, successful coaches also learn to apply two critical “people” skills during the coaching process. In fact, I would venture to say that without mastering these two skills, a coach would not be a “coach.”

Listening

We live in an extremely fast paced world, where we feel compelled to make very quick decisions. The fact that we have endless amounts of information available to us with a few clicks of a mouse, makes us very impatient when it comes to learning.

This impatience has created generations of poor listeners.

The proliferation of texting and sending emails has made listening largely unnecessary, and we are sadly out of practice. Actual conversations, which are becoming uncommon, generally consist of individuals taking turns talking. Very little active listening takes place.

“Active” listening??

Yep, to be effective, a coach must master the skill of active listening. Active listening is a two part process:

Part 1- Stay Present & Focused

When a client is speaking, don’t simply “hear” the words they are saying. Focus on the concepts and ideas they may be trying to convey. It is important not to let your mind wander or get “ahead” of the discussion. Most importantly, don’t be thinking of what you are going to say next while a client is speaking. Let them complete a thought before you speak.

Part 2- Show Signs That You Are Listening

Clients feel empowered when they feel they are being listened to. An effective coach can provide signs that they are listening that will give a client the confidence to express themselves fully. The signs include nodding of the head, leaning forward in a seat, changing facial expressions, and making comfortable eye contact(avoid staring).

Asking Questions

The second essential coaching skill is asking questions. Listening and asking questions are fundamentally linked together. When a coach asks an effective question, a client instantly feels like they are being heard and understood.

Generally, there are two forms of questions….

Open Questions

Open questions are so named because they facilitate a client “opening up” and expressing themselves. Open questions are the cornerstone of the coaching process because they increase the depth of a client’s thinking process. As a client answers an open question, they are consciously sorting out their thoughts.

Open questions typically are formed by using words such as “how,” “why,” or “tell me.” The following are three examples of open questions….

“How did you feel about losing your job?”

Open questions that inquire about a client’s feelings can help a client come to terms with their feelings.

“Why is it important to you to take your time in finding another job?”

“Why” questions can help a client sort out their reasons and motivations.

“Tell me a little about the kind of job you are looking for.”

Notice that “tell me” is not a question at all. However, it is an effective means of helping a client reflect on an experience, or their feelings.

Closed Questions

Closed questions generally can be answered with a very short response. Questions that can be answered with “yes” or “no” are classic examples of closed questions. Closed questions should be avoided during the coaching process because they often fail to help a client think through situations, feelings and problems.

The following are three examples of closed questions….

“How many jobs have you applied for?”

“Are you looking for work online?”

“Are you looking for the same kind of job you had before?”

In Conclusion….

Listening and asking effective questions takes time to learn. Find a coaching practice partner and schedule regular practice sessions. They are skills that are FUNDAMENTAL to your success. To the extent that you master them, will determine the success of your clients as well.

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Hi Everyone,

If I had to pinpoint the one factor that foils
the success of a majority of solo entrepreneurs,
it would be establishing bad habits.

NO question about it.

My clients, for example, when they first begin to
work with me, are typically equal in ambition, intelligence
and education.

However, their bad habits create a vicious form of
self sabotage.

Consequently, over 30+ years of being a solo
entrepreneur, and working with them, I have made it
my passion to help my clients kick bad habits.

Over the years, mostly through trial and error(LOTS
of trial and error), I have found that if my clients follow
5 steps faithfully, they can whip ANY bad habit into
submission.

I outline the 3 steps in my ebook, “The Alligator Syndrome”,
which is available on my blog as a free download.

However, this post reveals a condensed version of the 5 steps, so here goes….

1) Define your goals and then commit yourself to achieving them.
People who acknowledge that they need to make a change in
their life are more likely to achieve that change than those
individuals who think that they may, or may not, have a problem.
Taking active steps towards making that change (i.e., joining
a mastermind group) will move you closer to success in kicking
the habit. Change is not easy and requires commitment. As a start,
by defining your specific behavior goals, you can begin tailoring
your activities and attitudes accordingly.

2) Establish clear and realistic sub-goals and timelines. Rome was not built in a day – if it was that easy to kick a bad habit, we simply wouldn’t have bad habits. Chart your progress in a diary or calendar that outlines a realistic amount of time to eliminate the bad habit. If you are checking emails 8 times a day, and have a goal of cutting down to checking them 3 times a day,  give yourself a few weeks to achieve this. The first big hurdle is to achieve 90-days of the target behavior.

3) Don’t do it alone. Get help. If you choose to discuss your goals with others, choose people who want you to succeed. Quitting bad habits is hard enough without having to watch the people near you enjoying what you have now deprived yourself of.  If you want to quit smoking and your spouse is still smoking, your goal will be significantly more challenging. Find someone with the same goals, who wants to kick the same habit. Find support from friends, family, colleagues, or a certified coach.

4) Add, don’t just subtract. Add competing desirable behaviors to compensate for the elimination of bad habits. We often need something to take the place of a habit to help us maintain focus to successfully kick a habit. By replacing bad habits with positive ones, like exercise, meditation, time with family, healthier foods and activities, you are less likely to replace old bad habits with new bad habits.

5) Reward yourself! Continue to acknowledge and reward yourself for the “baby-steps” you take in kicking a bad habit. Let the people around you reward your success and cheer you on the next step. This can be accomplished by setting up a “success amount” that continues to reward you as you continue to succeed. For example, you can treat yourself to a desired CD for every week of success and a DVD player for achieving 90-days of maintaining a target behavior. If you are going to buy these things anyway, you might as well do it in a way that helps you with your life goals.

Want to help your friends kick bad habits? Then be sure to share this post with your Facebook friends and share it with your Twitter followers! How much success have you had breaking bad habits? Be sure to leave a comment and let us know about your success!

Who is Michael Hutchins?

Michael Hutchins is a heart centered coach and consultant
who assists solo business owners in finding ideal clients
by teaching them how to market their business online. he is
a gifted teacher with a great sense of humor and limitless
patience.Michael is unique in that he also helps his clients
double their productivity by turning their time into money.
Michael currently has clients from 7 countries. His clients
include coaches, network marketing professionals, offline
professionals, and small business owners, among others. Read
what Michael’s clients are saying about him HERE:
http://michaelhutchinsonline.com/testimonials-2/

email: Mike@michaelhutchinsonline.com Phone: (281)558 6373 (US-CST)
Skype: mike.hutchins1224

Read this and let it really sink in. This is a true story. If it makes an impact on you, make a comment and tell us why. Share it with your friends at facebook and your followers on Twitter. They may need to be inspired.

Peter is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a
good mood and always has something positive to say. When
someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, “If I
were any better, I would be twins!”

He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad
day, Peter was there telling the employee how to look on the
positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to
Peter and asked him, “I don’t get it! You can’t be a positive
person all of the time. How do you do it?”

Peter replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself,
‘Pete, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a
good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.’ I choose to
be in a good mood.

“Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim
or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

“Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to
accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of
life. I choose the positive side of life.”

“Yeah, right, it isn’t that easy,” I protested.

“Yes, it is,” Peter said. Life is all about choices. When you
cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose
how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect
your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. “The
bottom line is: It’s your choice how you live life.”

I reflected on what Peter said. Soon thereafter, I left the
tower industry to start my own

business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when
I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Peter was involved in a
serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications
tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care,
Michael was released from the hospital with rods placed in his
back.

I saw Peter about six months after the accident. When I asked
him how he was, he replied, “If I were any better, I’d be twins.
Wanna see my scars?”

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone
through his mind as the accident took place. “The first thing
that went through my mind was the

well being of my soon-to-be-
born daughter,” Peter replied. “Then, as I lay on the ground,
I remembered that I had two choices:

I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I chose to live.”

“Weren’t you scared? Did you lose consciousness?” I asked.

Peter continued, “The paramedics were great.They kept
telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me
into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors
and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read ‘He’s a dead man.’
I knew I needed to take action.”

“What did you do?” I asked. “Well, there was a big burly nurse
shouting questions at me,” said Peter. “She asked if I was
allergic to anything. ‘Yes,’ I replied. The doctors and nurses
stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep
breath and yelled, ‘Gravity.’ Over their laughter, I told them,
‘I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I’m alive, not dead.”

Peter lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because
of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we

have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

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